Food, thoughts and interpersonal behavior: what do they all have in common? They all decide how you view yourself. This isn't something I'm saying to break you down but it is something to pay attention to and build you up. What are you eating? What are you predominantly thinking? How are you treating people? The answer to all of those things come from how we treat and think about and ourselves.
Let's say you don't like the answer to any of these questions. If that is the case, DON'T PANIC. We are malleable as human beings, it's one of the reasons why we refuse to succumb to extinction. We have the ability to change our mind. So, if you don't like your answer to those questions, change the way you think and feel about yourself. Our thoughts predicate our feelings and our feelings predicate our behaviors. According J. B. Taylor: “When a person has a reaction to something in their environment, there’s a 90 second chemical process that happens in the body; after that, any remaining emotional response is just the person choosing to stay in that emotional loop.” In other words, if you train yourself to catch them, you can change your feelings about yourself in less than 90 seconds.
I had a photoshoot yesterday in a part of town that was unfamiliar to me. Needless to say, I started the day with tension all over me. In my neck, in my shoulders, in my heart...just tense! From that point, my thought loop was, "Why am I doing this? I don't want to do this in this way!" and many variations of that thought followed. When I got to set, I found myself closed off, quiet and cold (physically and socially). Luckily, there was a quiet room where I could post up and it was then that I was able to sit alone...quietly....in a room...all by myself and notice my behavior. I, unintentionally, put myself on time out LOL. It was actually GENIUS because I was able to catch the direction I was going in and change it. In the first minute or two, I started to think, "that was not me...I am bubbly, I love to make jokes and laugh, I love to connect." And, when I'm vibrating high or in alignment with God's idea of me, that is how I act!
So, I decided to re-join the other models and laugh at the first joke I heard, JUST to get myself back on track. I ended up connecting with the stories of the other models, learning from the production team and got through the shoot much quicker than I expected. I realized that I was being cold because I felt bad coming into the situation and almost robbed myself of the value of being fully present. I was spiraling from the starting thought of how someone else sees me and then allowing that opinion (which is impossible to really know) to compete with my own self image or God's view of me.
Being cold and "mysterious" was a frail and subconscious attempt to force respect, not realizing that the only respect that is guaranteed is self-respect. Concerning yourself with any other form of respect outside of that diminishes your self-awareness and deteriorates your relationship with self. Recognizing the mindset of the higher or favorite version of yourself, using that as an anchor to guide your ultimate opinion of yourself, and moving from that place first is a key factor in being present and fully benefiting from any circumstance you find yourself in. Eat what benefits you, think what benefits you, and treat people how you (the higher/favorite version) treat yourself.
In other words: Watch what you eat. Watch what you think. Watch how you treat people. It'll show you how you really think about yourself. Check out my latest podcast episode for a daily reminder on the go!